Days 44-46, A “Weak” in Review

I haven’t blogged in a few days so I probably should to before I forget what’s going on and what I’ve been struggling with. I’m currently on day 50, it’s Thursday March 4, and I can physically feel my willpower and motivation waning, kicking me in the nuts and headed out. I don’t know for 100% percent certainty what it is, but I have a clue. Bread, alcohol, and cheese are at least partially to blame I think, the rest, lies solely on me and my poor choices. On night 44 I decided I was not spending another night at home playing Farmville or café world, I just couldn’t, because honestly how am I ever going to meet someone at home online who isn’t a creeper. I decided to go out. I got ready and left, I didn’t know where I was going until I was on the interstate headed towards Iowa City. I had decided to go out. I made ended up in Cedar Rapids and thought I could have a couple drinks, I only had 2 drinks and 3 shots, not to bad I still had my will power and motivation. I had not eaten out. Flash forward to Saturday day 45, I my good friend made me lunch…cause I slept through breakfast and I are out for supper, dun dun dun. I know right, but I made good choices; I had Subway no cheese no mayo only ham, veggies, and honey mustard on the wheat. I had baked chips not the bad ones, I think I did pretty well. Until I got to the bar, I hadn’t let loose in so long or had any kind of fun I think I probably had 5 drinks and 10-14 shots. I don’t feel bad about it because I had fun and I needed it. Though, I need to learn how to balance losing weight, living healthy, and being able to socialize with friends without going overboard. I did have a few to many which led to the lasagna incident on Sunday morning where I had 3 servings of homemade lasagna. It was GOOOOD. I don’t feel bad or guilty about it, nor do I regret the poor choices I made because tomorrow is a new muther fuckin day and each new day comes with new choices. By no means is this an end to my new lifestyle, I have a long hard road to go, I cannot let a span of 12 hours that just happened to cross 2 days ruin my outlook or my goals. I have learned from this experience that I cannot be perfect all of the time with food and drink, and that only makes me human.