I miss iowa city

Let me tell you it is hard to be poor and away from all your friends for long periods of time. I have had to go out of my way to make sure that I can have some fun in a town where everyone seems to be angry all the time. No, not angry, Sarena Williams pissed all of the time. I don't know what is worse, having to drive to work in the morning or having to drive home to my mother and fathers house in the evening. Its a hard call. The drivers in Des Moines are hateful, this is not Chicago or New York people, its fucking Iowa!! Since living in Des Moines, I probably been cut off to the point where I'm slamming the breaks and yelling4-5 times a month screaming and flipping people off to no avail. Not good for a fatty with high blood pressure...salt is good...LOL anyways. Shopping in Des Moines is even worse, don't stand in that isle too long at the target or the hy-vee, cause there is always some bitch making that sucky noise with er tongue and teeth letting you know that you are in her way and her time is more important than yours. Pfft fusk that bitch, imma stand here and look at sodium free canned green beans until store close!! Ungh if I could get away with it I would start taking meth so I could elbow her in the titty with my meth elbow. I know I know its a bad reason to start elbowing people. Don't get me started on the filthy people in Des Moines. Okay do...so you will always run into the filthiest people show up creeping at the worst possible times, like when you are walking in the mall and you smell those deliciously addictive pretzels and someone beat you to the front of the line and they smell like a dead raccoon stuffed with cheese. I'm over that schitt. Or when you go to the movies and some horrendously rotten mother fucker sits in front of you and rips ass the entire time. He got a sprite dumped on his head by the way. The big sprite. Then there is the "edgy" ass hole who never showers, VOMIT, this guy smells like he uses unflushed used toilet water as mouthwash and deodorant. He smells like he has sex over and over again with multiple stoopid people and never cleans himself but people keep having sex with him cause he is "edgy!" I could go on and on but I digress, I miss my friends in Iowa City, and can't wait to get out of Des Moines, or start carrying Lysol.