The end of an era

I have decided it is time to grow a pair and grow up. I have decided to stop collecting comic books and to sell my entire collection. I know what you are thinking, what the hell is a 30+ year old gay man doing collecting comics. I'll tell you ass hole. growing up I had 4 things, food (which I am paying for now), tv, video games, and comic books. Yep that's it, I didn't have friends growing up because the warden raised me not to trust anyone, cause they are out to get your stuff, she would say with her rum and coke breath at 4 am. So I escaped my torturous childhood and the warden by reading comic books. This translated into escaping my torturous adulthood by reading comic books. I know it seems juvenile, but I can relate to teams of hot men dressed in spandex who are judged and hated for only being who they are...hmm what real life group is shunned and hated for being who they are and wearing spandex, CARNIES. I know I don't want them in my town either.

I miss iowa city

Let me tell you it is hard to be poor and away from all your friends for long periods of time. I have had to go out of my way to make sure that I can have some fun in a town where everyone seems to be angry all the time. No, not angry, Sarena Williams pissed all of the time. I don't know what is worse, having to drive to work in the morning or having to drive home to my mother and fathers house in the evening. Its a hard call. The drivers in Des Moines are hateful, this is not Chicago or New York people, its fucking Iowa!! Since living in Des Moines, I probably been cut off to the point where I'm slamming the breaks and yelling4-5 times a month screaming and flipping people off to no avail. Not good for a fatty with high blood pressure...salt is good...LOL anyways. Shopping in Des Moines is even worse, don't stand in that isle too long at the target or the hy-vee, cause there is always some bitch making that sucky noise with er tongue and teeth letting you know that you are in her way and her time is more important than yours. Pfft fusk that bitch, imma stand here and look at sodium free canned green beans until store close!! Ungh if I could get away with it I would start taking meth so I could elbow her in the titty with my meth elbow. I know I know its a bad reason to start elbowing people. Don't get me started on the filthy people in Des Moines. Okay do...so you will always run into the filthiest people show up creeping at the worst possible times, like when you are walking in the mall and you smell those deliciously addictive pretzels and someone beat you to the front of the line and they smell like a dead raccoon stuffed with cheese. I'm over that schitt. Or when you go to the movies and some horrendously rotten mother fucker sits in front of you and rips ass the entire time. He got a sprite dumped on his head by the way. The big sprite. Then there is the "edgy" ass hole who never showers, VOMIT, this guy smells like he uses unflushed used toilet water as mouthwash and deodorant. He smells like he has sex over and over again with multiple stoopid people and never cleans himself but people keep having sex with him cause he is "edgy!" I could go on and on but I digress, I miss my friends in Iowa City, and can't wait to get out of Des Moines, or start carrying Lysol.

To Drag or Not To Drag...

I have been torn for some time now about whether to start performing in drag. I love Drag, Drag Shows, Drag Hair, Drag Make-Up, and Dragging a cady bitch down the street. I love music, dancing, and being the center of attention. So what is stopping me? Aside from having to hire a team of three to get me in shape and duct tape my bitch tits in place, let me tell you. Being a gay man in his 30s I have struggled with both of the "am I too old" and "am I too fat" syndromes. When I guess all it boils down to is "am I too scared?" and all my own insecurities, or the fact that i have more hair than Robin Williams. I am not sure if I'm scared of putting my self out there for everyone to notice, or if I'm scared of failure, maybe its the razor burn. I could give two tits about what my parents or family think, and believe me I have a great rack, I was over my fam years ago. People already think the worst of me anyways, I am the unreliable party friend, if that is all I am good for anyways. What's one more thing for them to judge me about. Hmmm, fuck that bitch, I am fun, I love to be fun, and have fun. I guess its time to drink a little courage, get my ass in gear and buy a team of midgets for a pit crew and a team of Asian children to sew me a dress, cause mama is comin out to play!!

Where to begin?

Ungh, can I say a few words before I actually start blogging, because I have so much to say. I use this as a tool to relieve my stress and anxiety about everything in my life. I honestly don't give two schitts about the warden, selfish bitches, crazy stalkers, or under-sexed dicks. Typically anyone who has pushed me over the edge (believe me there are plenty). I hope that my blogs can help others in similar situations realize that they are not alone out there. That people who take on the stress of all those around them, and say nothing to anyone when their feeling are hurt can still have a laugh at the expense of others, and not feel bad about it, but better than that not get caught doing it...LOL!!